Here is a small bit I wrote 3 Years ago about Samuel. So much has happened and yet we are no closer to finding the silver bullet.
Sam was a preemie 32 weeks who spent time on the vent (not much), incurred and faced things such as Reflux, Brady’s, jaundice, Blood Transfusions (Inter Family) and other preemie related hurdles. We lived in a Ronald McDonald House for approximately 4 weeks during this time while Samuel conquered all barriers presented to him.
6 months into ITP I have come to realize that there is no hard fast answer to any of this. We can only hope to glean a certain amount of assurance or peace as a parent by taking what we have today in front of us by taking what we have and making the best of it.
How did we find out about Sam’s ITP; This year in Oklahoma we were blessed with a true winter, I say blessed being a Yankee and my longing for snow.
We had an Ice/Snow storm, Sam already had signs of bruising. However the bruising wasn’t overtly obvious, or malicious in any way. Especially for a rough and tumble boy who loves to play and give 100 percent to any activity. The boys were out playing some days before sliding on the ice on the road and grass. Sam of course knowing no boundaries, was taking his new-found curiosity and joy of sliding on black top one step further falling and bumping his way around the neighborhood.
It was only a few days after this that bruising became evident. At first remiss of any danger we scoffed or shunned any bruising as they popped up as just Sam being himself. Still not paying very much attention the bruising began to grow in sizes, density and deep color hues. As a parent of a rough and tumble kid you expect some bruising, even quite frequent bruising at times.
Samuels Humble Beginnings…
Now when we speak of bruising we are no just talking about a causal spot. The kind of bruising before we knew what had be felled our family is the kind that actually grow and look like it could grow legs and walk away. The bruising was apparent up and down his spinal column, all over his legs, arms and further.
These bruises concerned us not only for the obvious. But for the inherent connotations that go along with bruising on a child, Yes, abuse. The bruising had gotten to the point where we were grasping at ideas, thoughts, scenario us as to when and how these all occurred.
I’m embarrassed to say we even questioned each other, and our other son. Not in a confrontational kind of way but more of an inquisitive empathetic way. The aforementioned statement alone makes me sick to my stomach and almost tears to my eyes. This was the beginnings of this disease and its grasp on our family.
We actually were concerned about bringing him in to a Dr. to ask, being afraid of what might be implied by this bruising in public. Again this angers and saddens me to no end, that out society has come to this; that a parent would even for one brief minute or moment in time question weather or not to seek help or answers from a Dr. for fear or reprisal of the knee jerk reaction our society places on seeing bruising on a child. While actually founded with a semblance of reality of what our society has become and some of the sickos that inhabit this planet along with the rest of us, there does need to be more attention brought to protecting our babies.
Within days of these grotesque bruises setting up shop on our son the final straw for us: Samuel was pushing his car over by the window bent over and casually hit the corner of his eye. Barley hard enough to do anything except make a sound. It didn’t even command an ouch or a whimper from him. The next day not only was his right eye black and blue the left one was. If I hadn’t been sitting on the couch I wouldn’t have believed it.
Unknowingly we had made an appointment for the boys to follow-up with the primary care Dr for an illness (Virus) they had both had a week or so weeks Prior. This or that Virus may have been the trigger event. Ill add to that at a later point when I use some of my own hypothesis.
We make it for a Monday, on top of that I personally make an appointment next door with my dentist for a Root Canal. Figuring it was a Monday, can’t get much worse. I can meet my wife next door so we can go in together in case there should be any weirdness (Still scared to death about the bruising and the inferred implications). Upon entering the Dr’s. Child one checks out OK…Child 2 Checks out Ok. My wife speaks up after his throat is checked. We want you to check out some of the theses bruises on his back.
The anticipation for his reaction was almost too much to bear. Our Dr., a quiet, gentle and soft-spoken gentleman, pushes here, there, feels around, pushes again. Says go across the hall and have his blood work done and then we will talk. What is it we ask. He retort, lets just get the blood work done I have an idea but I want to make sure. Seething with anticipation, we go across the hall, wait in line for what feels like hours, although it was minutes. They draw Sams blood and ask us to return to the hall. Within 10 mins, a nurse pops her head out the door. Matthew, Julie the Dr would like to see you again. This was it, I thought, Iron deficiency, something vitamin related.
In a moment I will never forget as long as I live. This soft-spoken man looks at us and says Matthew, Julie, I need you to make a decision. You can go to OK City or you can go to Dallas but I need you to go to Children’s hospital (I’m thinking make an appointment in a week or so) tonight, right now and take this with you. He says there is no one here in town that can deal with this, your son is in Danger of a brain hemorrhage. This truly was about the farthest thing from what I thought he was going to say. Our stomachs sank, we looked at each other almost as if to acknowledge the other heard the same thing…….